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Calm down and listen.We may not have much time. Things look bad and I don'tthink we're going to make it. I need to tell yousomething." Mom... don't worry... It'll be alright." Juliecouldn't keep from crying. Hot tears began to fill hereyes and she was feeling faint."Just listen. I want you to know something if wedon't see you again. I... we want you to know that weknow about you. We know that you are a woman at heartand we want you to know that we love you no matter...Julie heard the line go dead. "Mom! MOM!" shescreamed through her tears."Jim this is your father. Your Mom can't talk nowbut I want to tell you that we've always been proud ofyou and we know you'll continue to make us proud." Dad... I..." but the words couldn't come out.Julie was choking on panic and grief."Your Mom was telling you that we know about youwanting to be a woman. We have actually known aboutyou for quite some time." Dad seemed unusually calm."But... But how?" Julie sobbed."Don't you know? Parents know. “Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”“That’s great,” said the surgeon.“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”“Well, just two, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.This again is compliments of Smokey Joe And who said this wasn’t an educational form???????????This is the last of your new Auzzie Education.S Salute, Aussie : brushing flies awaySalvos, the : Salvation Army, bless themSandgroper : a person from Western AustraliaSanger : a sandwichSav : saveloy (see also “fair suck of the sav!”)Schooner : large beer glass in Queensland; medium beer glass in South.
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